Witness My Kid

April 6, 2010 by admncc

When I was a kid, I remember Jehovah’s Witnesses coming to my house and my parents politely asking them to leave.  Sometimes my mom would even act interested, take the material and then later throw it away – again, in a polite manner.  Then as I got older, I remember my parents more sternly ordering the solicitors away.  But even back then, part of me wanted to say, “Just don’t open the door.”

These days, as a homeowner, I typically don’t open my door for solicitors.  If it’s cold outside and the door is closed, I can easily look through the window and see who is out there, etc.  However, it’s when the weather is warm, and the screen door is in, that I sometimes have no choice but to go to the door, since they’ve seen me.

Now, particularly with Jehovah’s Witnesses, I usually ask them to leave and decline their pamphlets, for no reason other than I don’t want them.  My feeling on religion is this: to each their own.  So I have no problems with what they’re doing – I’m just not interested in their literature.

However, I’ve heard some horror stories over the years about people kicking the Witnesses off their porches, yelling at them and slamming their doors.  I know it happens, which makes me glad that I don’t have to sell anything door-to-door.

Here’s what the Jehovah’s Witness is our area has started doing – he brings his kid with him to the door.  So does he do it because he wants the kid to better understand what they are trying to accomplish?  Or does he do it so people feel compelled to listen and not yell at him in front of a child?  I used to think it was #1, but now I wonder if it’s #2.  He knocked on my door the other day – I didn’t answer, but took his picture instead.


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  1. dude, check it.

    i never answer my door either. ever. not cus i’m afraid of the jehovas but more so because i’m a single girl living alone, scared of being kidnapped and murdered. anyhow, a year ago i happened to answer cus i thought it was my friend. it was 9 am on a saturday morning and they handed me some devotional thingy or whatever.

    last week, they show up again and said, “hello, britteny. we gave you some literature awhile back. if you liked it we have some more for you.”

    um, first of all, i never gave them my name. second of all, how in the crap would you remember that a year later?! never trust someone with a superhuman memory, i always say.

  2. C. Princess says:

    Oh lord don’t even get me started! I blogged a post about the Jevovah Witness who come around knocking in my area. 2x a day they come around and on Saturdays they bring their children dressed to the nines with them.

    A few times I have opened the door without looking and I politely tell them I am busy and then I am given a bunch of pamphlets that always say, “The World Is Coming To An End Soon” and if I don’t commit myself to their church I won’t be saved.

    I now check everytime the doorbell rings. I don’t have a problem with anyone’s religion, as you wrote, to each his own, but I seriously dislike when someone is preaching to me. I would never yell at them or kick them off my porch- there are civilized ways of dealing with the situation.

  3. TallElf says:

    The only WITNESS that really needs to come to the door is Lebron with a sack of cash. Other than that, I have to say that I am glad that I have a long driveway that usually deters most solicitors.

    I politely tell them that I am not interested, and shut the door behind them. Not slam, just shut. Luckily I am rarely home when they show up, but the misses is home, and I am sure that she will post her responses.

    They rank right up there with the ladies and gentleman in the middle of the mall who come up to you and ask to see your skin on your hands, nails etc and then want to put stuff on me. LEAVE ME ALONE. I want to shop that is fine, but if I am walking away, do not yell “Hey Micky mouse” because that is what I am wearing on my shirt.

  4. Debbie says:

    I work with a Jehovah. Pray for me, will ya?

    I have a dog that handles all solicitors. Honest to Buddha she looks like the Tasmanian Devil, whirling, spinning and spitting when someone comes to the door. I have a little glassed-in porch area where her bed is. She can spot a Jehovah 20 yards away. If they even make it to the door without turning and running, they are greeted by a sign that says “All solicitors and people that want to save my soul need to deposit their jewelry in the box provided due to the dog not being able to digest it.” That sign + my spinning spitting dog = no Jehovah.

  5. I think it’s sad that they use children that way. I respect all belief systems but no preaching, please.

    I wish I had Debbie’s dog. 😉

  6. NeoConDon says:

    In Ohio, we can chose to open carry our hand guns, or concealed carry them. I have a wife and four children that I need to protect, so I keep my guns at the ready at all times. If someone that I don’t know comes knocking, I simply expose the firearm that I have either on my hip, or in my shoulder harness…that usually keeps the conversation short.

  7. I have to walk out on the street by my house to a bank of mail boxes and I was standing there after getting my mail, waiting for the traffic to clear so I could cross and this car pulls up with, guess who? Yep, 2 young guys in suits, meanwhile traffic is backed up behind them, horns are blaring and they wouldn’t leave! I finally just yelled at them, you guys are crazy, move it along. Jeez

  8. carissa says:

    ughhh no. I can’t believe they use their kid. I haven’t had to experience much with the Jehovas Witnesses, but I ever since the time I made the mistake of letting a morman into my home, I’ll never let one of those door to door people in again.

  9. Titfortat says:

    When I was younger after a heavy night of partying, I answered the door in my boxers and invited them in for a tea. That pretty much solved the problem. 😉

  10. Hal says:

    Titfortat, that’s awesome. And hilarious.

    TallElf, WTF. Mickey Mouse?

  11. Candice says:

    My parents and I used to literally HIDE. I’m not joking. Draw the curtains, huddle in the bedroom peaking out of the window nervously. They stayed there FOREVER too. But the kid thing? Wow. That’s…different.

  12. TallElf says:

    Hal, it was a souvenir. Anyway, preach what you want to just not on my porch. That is reserved for the picnic table, a cup of coffee, and the grill. 🙂 I guess I could tick off a vegetarian Jehovah’s Witness by asking them to flip the steak for me on their way out?

  13. Down Under says:

    Most people just politely say “No thanks”. That’s usually enough for most JW’s. And BTW having the kids with them is not for insurance against being yelled at. It offers no protection for when someone wants to be abusive.
    Why don’t you ask the next JW caller why they bring their kids with them. Most comments made here regarding this are way off beam and would not win on “Who wants to be a millionaire”.
    If you genuinely wish to be bypassed by the JW’s, just ask to be put on their “Do Not call List”

  14. A.G. says:

    @TitforTat: My dad took care of this a similar way 30-some years ago. After years of annoyance, he finally answered the door completely naked. Never heard from them again 🙂

  15. Jen says:

    My mom had a surefire method of ending these conversations. She’d simply say “We are Catholic.” and they would run for the hills. For some reason, I think they thought we were a lost cause 🙂

    Listen, I’m totally tolerant of different religions, but I agree with you – You do your thing and I’ll do mine. Have they ever REALLY converted a person while standing on their porch?!?

  16. Extreme John says:

    I don’t care who comes to the door or who they bring, if I don’t know you I don’t answer. It’s a lot like my cell phone these days, haha.

  17. Alexandra says:

    I have two ways of dealing with these guys.
    1) I tell them I’m a Buddhist.
    2) I contradict them on what they’re saying. Sometimes I just like messing with them and tell them that I’m a scientist (which I am) and begin talking about Darwin and genome homologies, blah, blah…

    Once, I opened the door my mistake because I was expecting a girl friend to come by and my peephole was not working. I had just woken up, I was in my PJs and you could totally see my boobs underneath but I realized that only later. Two Jehova’s Witnesses came that day, a married couple, and although I started my usual Darwinian monologue, the lady insisted they give me the pamphlets and then they left. That was the shortest visit ever. I was a bit embarassed afterwards, when I realized I almost flashed them accidentally but hey, it worked!

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