The Internal Complaint
October 27, 2009 by admncc
I’m fighting a little bit of a cold, so this post will be short, sweet and to the point. I thought it would be amusing to poke some fun at ourselves today. So with that being said, here are the topics:
Your worst date ever – I think bad date stories are very entertaining. And luckily, I don’t have too many to share. But one in particular involves a local celebrity of sorts. I once went on date with a woman who works on-the-air for a popular radio station. It is easy to summarize our date – she talked. From the second I picked her up, she talked. She talked in the car, she talked through dinner, she talked through the movie and she talked the entire way home. I couldn’t get a single word in and she didn’t take a breath. She was already working in radio at that point, and now I can see why.
Back in the day, before Match.com existed, people used to respond to newspaper personal ads. I remember going on a blind date through one of those, only to realize upon seeing the woman that I had previously interviewed (and rejected) her for a job.
The stupidest (or most embarrassing) thing you’ve ever done – my list is short, yet distinguished.
When I was in high school, I was driving three of my other buddies to play hockey and we were in a car accident. We were fine and it wasn’t my fault. But my car was totaled. My dad later drove each guy home and we explained to their parents what had happened. At one house, the mom said, “Was anyone in the other car hurt.” I jokingly said, “One died.” I said this not remembering for that split-second that one of her daughters had been killed in car accident several years earlier. The second I said it, I realized what I had done. Bless her heart; she realized and ignored my joke and didn’t even flinch…
I went golfing a number of years ago with my buddies. In between rounds, we stopped in to the clubhouse for a drink. We walked up to the counter and a gorgeous woman came up to take our order. We placed our order and she walked away. I then turned to my buddies and made a very piggish comment about the woman (the type of comment you’d expect from a young and single guy who saw a very good looking female in front of him). As I laughed and turned back around, she was standing there with her arms crossed glaring at me. Ouch! I couldn’t even respond…
So as I sit here trying not to overuse my hand sanitizer, I hope everyone enjoys the rest of their week. My Halloween costume this year is Michael Jackson. It came with a wig, sunglasses, a surgical mask and a glitter glove!
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I took my young nephew grocery shopping with me one day. As we were checking out at the register, my young nephew looked at the cashier and said, “What’s his name?”. To my embarrassment, the cashier was a woman- a very manly looking woman. I looked at him and said, “HER name is Patty.” Meanwhile, the cashier was giving us a nasty look. He then looked at the cashier and said very loudly, “No, that’s a boy! He’s got short hair and muscles.” I know my face turned bright red! The other people in line were staring and trying not to laugh. I was never more embarrassed. I couldn’t look the cashier in the eye as we left the store.
Bahahaha, those are all amazing, including Sugar’s.
My most embarrassing moment was after a night out… I went into a take-out restaurant and saw my friend standing by the counter. I ran over to her and hugged her. We teetored…swayed back and forth…and collapsed on the floor. I dragged an entire rack of chips on top of me, and smashed my head off the metal. The best part was that there was an entire line-up of RCMP men in line-up, and they all started singing and cheering and clapping.
I pulled myself together while my friend ran away, and got into line-up. It was only when the employee refused to serve me that I burst into tears and ran out.
That was a very fun post! I, too, have stuck my foot in my mouth by saying something stupid as a joke and the person was standing right behind me. Sheesh! I’ve learned (I hope).
At a party in high school, back when I used to be really shy, I walked into a shiny clean patio door, just like on TV. OUCH! I was so embarrassed. I did not stay long at that party.
Here is a good one for you. Right before I entered the service back in 68 a friend asked me if I would go out with his girlfriends best friend. Knowing the marines were going to own me for the next four years I said sure, well we go to pick up the girl and find she is 7 months pregnant! I was shocked to say the least and would like to say that I was a good sport about it but I told her I wasnt feeling well and headed off to the nearest pub.
Hey guess who is back!! 🙂 I’m sure I’ve done a lot of embarrassing things in my life but my problem is that I don’t get easily embarrassed so nothing really sticks out in my mind except for one incident.
Years and years ago when I first moved to Canada I hadn’t met that many people and was an internet junkie (that part hasn’t changed much!). ICQ was all the rage and I must have chatted with hundreds of people. Now flash forward to my first semester at college. I updated my ICQ profile to mention my school and then new people would add me that went to Vanier. I had met very few people at school. The ones I mainly knew were fellow tutors. Anyway a guy named Tim and I start chatting on ICQ. He goes to my college and we agree to meet somewhere in the school. We chose the 4th floor of the library. We meet, we do the air kisses, and start walking and talking. Apparently I’m NOT gifted at doing those two tasks together as I fell down after taking 8 steps. He helps me up and we go along our merry way. A few weeks later one of my friends convinces me to invite him to one of our parties at her house. I do. He shows up and I go to the door to greet him and what happens? I slip and fall. He looks at me and goes “Walk much?” How freaking embarrassing!! I don’t think I ever saw him again after that party.
Hey, I just wanted to say that I very much missed you !! I got your e-mail and wanted to apologize for not responding timely.
I’m glad I’m back and can’t wait to catch up !!
I also hear the Kate Goselin wig is quite popular this year for Halloween.
I hope you get well soon my man, it feels like everyone I know is sick. Eeek.
I am going to have to think about this for a little bit, you completley caught me of guard today with this one.
Those personal ads were funny! I answered a few when I was young!
I have done too many stupid things to imagine!!!
Get better already!
Shoot, you want to talk about personal ads, I am an expert, at least with Match.com. anyway. I spent a two week period where I dated every NIGHT! Can you believe it?
Just the stories of those dates could fill a post about how not to date via Match.com
I have a number of stalker boy dating stories. Most recent was a coffee blind date. He seemed ok conversation wise. But then texted me more than 15 times that night, called me at work the next day and then left five voice mails on my cell. All in less than 24 hours. I ran needless to say.
OMG…I can’t stop laughing at your Michael Jackson Halloween costume!
Please take a picture and post it for all of us to see – Thriller!
Well…the worst date I ever had was a first time date with someone who threw me into a swimming pool (with all my clothes on) at a bar in Fort Lauderdale. Needless to say…there was NO second date.
Hope you’re feeling better, bud!
I have some great match.com stories… First, I met my wife on match.com and for that I am eternally grateful for the site.
I also loved being on match.com for all the “good old fashion lovin” I received on match.com. Bloomerblogger may have been on dates with different women 14 days in a row. That is harder than one might think, i.e. keeping all their different names, hobbies and interests straight. I was usually with each women (conquest) for a week at a time. I have driven all over the Northeastern Ohio and even to Michigan/Detroit for a Saturday night “Date.” But, once Sunday rolled around, the women were usually kicked to the curb! I was on “Dates” with different women on consecutive weekend nights before, i.e. Friday & Saturday. That was harder than you might think, for me. During my time on Match.com, I would try to never lead a woman to the believe the relationship was about more than sex. Most all the women I encountered on Match were fine with the one night idea. With the rest…didn’t matter. They are still alone! Almost all my dates ended with me at their place or them at my place (in the guest room or on the futon). If it didn’t, I had no reason to call them back! With one woman, the “date” literally lasted all weekend! I invited one woman to a party with my friends, mistake, but the date ended the same way, her tongue in my mouth and her panties on my floor!
Good luck, men, but don’t expect success right away with Match. It takes time to build the trust of women on Match. Let the women of Match get comfortable with your picture before you can expect to have the success I found. It took me a year before I found success. Where else can one have their pick of that many interested/available women? The initiation fee is a good investment if you are looking for love or whatever it is you seek! Once the women know you are there for real, you will find success!
Wow Zig, it’s clear you can meet some “classy” women on match.com.
NCD, Now, when you say “Classy” do you mean like a Delta or a Theta? As a matter of fact NCD, more than one were teachers…
NCD, YOU are just jealous!
Zig, I’m just saying that you talked about how you met your wife on match.com, and about all the ‘classy’ ‘ladies’ that can be found there. Good thing for you, you married WAYYYYYYYYYY out of your league. She’ll probably dump you after she realizes what you really think about the “ladies” found on match.com…or after you turn your son into a slave that sucks off the gov’t teet for his entire life. But, I do admit that I’m a little jealous. You have a super easy job that pays way too much that you can’t get fired from because of the corrupt gov’t union. But, after the entire American economy and gov’t collapses and you can’t defend yourself or find food or energy, you’ll be wishing you were nicer to the tax payers that you’re a servant to.
Funny post an comments. I have one dumb memory that I’ll never live down.
In high school, I had spanish class an we were supposed to pick a spanish name we wanted to be called. Like Juanito. My mom said I should pick Gaspar, and I thought it sounded cool. But all the kids laughed and called me Casper (as in, the friendly ghost) all year. Damn.
NCD, I did marry way over my head. I married way out of anyone’s league. It is a running joke in our house that Match is crazy and I am a malewhore! I will teach my son the evils of liberalism just like I am going to teach him the evils of Conservatism. I will let him choose his own path in life…
NCD, I did marry WAY out of my league. My wife is so good I don’t even deserve her. But, I’ve got her! And, NCD, classy ladies can be found anywhere. Classy ladies can even be found in Sorority houses, right…like Creesha or that FAD? It is people like YOU who will be coming to people like ME asking, no begging, for a HAND OUT, idiot!
My son will never need to take anyone, especially someone like you, “TELLING” him anything. Nor will he blindly accept any of your propaganda or lies. YOU may teach your sons how to be a closed minded conservative, but I choose to let my son find his own path in life… My son will be in a diffferent environment/setting from you and your kind. I can’t see a time when he will need to hear, interact or, hopefully, even talk to people like you! If I do my job correctly, he will not believe either the conservative or liberal propaganda and lies.
Oh yeah, the other day the baby sitter/day care provider told my wife that he sat in front of the Television transfixed while Mr. Obama spoke. Mr. Obama kept my 7 month old son’s attention for 5 or 10 minutes. He already has it in his blood/genes to be a good human being and not to prejudge people…like Conservatives do! Looks liek he is on the right track!
Oh c’mon Zig…your kid will certainly have to interact with me…He’ll be asking me “Would you like fries with that Sir?”
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OK, I thought of another embarrassing moment in my life. Once again, I’m really not sure what the hell I was thinking at the time.
I played baseball in high school. My sophomore year was a descent season. I came back for my junior year and simply decided one day that I didn’t want to play anymore. So I literally was at baseball practice one day, went home, decided to quit, joined the cross country team the next day (they were doing spring conditioning) and started practicing with them that night. The problem – I didn’t bother to tell the baseball coach!
The baseball coach saw me warming up with the cross country team and asked me what I was doing. I told him I decided to quit and was very nonchalant about it. He looked at me like I had three heads and walked away.
Anyway, I hated cross country and came back to play baseball my senior year. The coach should have benched me for how I acted, but I was too good not to play… LOL.
NCD, that would be fine. He can ask you if you want fries with your meal. I assume you mean he will be WORKING on his summer break from college at the front counter of McDonalds… That would mean he, unlike you, would have a JOB and be a contributing member of society.
Getting back to reality… One reason why my son will never have to interact with you or people like you is because you and people like you, similar to the dinosaurs, will quickly become extinct. Once Obama’s health care plan gains passage and people see how good life is under the Democrats, the repunklican mindset will become extinct, like the dinosaurs!
…Zig will be here all week folks. Please remember to tip your servers.
I can’t think of any embarrassing moments because I don’t get embarrassed easily. The things that would embarrass most people, don’t really phase me. An incident recently that someone else probably would have been mortified by was, I was at work (on a college campus) and a male coworker (I’m female) had to tell me that I had a rip in my pants, near the pocket. The rip was noticeable because my pants were black, but my underwear was white. I wasn’t really embarrassed though, despite the fact that I had been walking all around campus, LOL. I just went home,changed pants, came back to work and carried on like nothing happened.
Ugh. My very worst date was the first time I went to prom. My boyfriend at the time asked me as his date to the prom at his school. I had a cold and was pretty drugged out on cold meds. My dress was made for me and developed a hole at my bellybutton an hour before he came to get me. He never made dinner reservations, so we couldn’t eat dinner. We were the first people to show up at prom. They were still decorating, as a matter of fact. Then we just drove around in the rented limo for hours. It was so boring I suggested we pick up my best friend, which we did, and she drove around with us. It was awful.
I can’t really think of anything embarrassing happening to me either. I try to avoid embarrassment whenever possible.