Are You Married or What? The Sequel
September 21, 2009 by admncc
The most popular post (as far as views) I’ve ever written was “Are You Married or What?” It was originally published on September 22, 2008. It was a post that to this day, I am very proud of. It was written about an interesting topic – spousal behaviors. It is also a post that came out well before many of you started following The Constant Complainer.
Here’s the irony… This past week was the same conference I was at last year when I wrote “Are You Married or What?” And you know what – the exact same thing happened again this year. Frankly, I don’t know why I’m acting surprised. So I slightly tweaked it and this post is back for everyone to enjoy.
For part of last week, I was at a work-related conference. This is a yearly event and even though it is held locally, for teambuilding purposes, they schedule evening activities and the entire group is required to spend the night at the same hotel. The past few years, I was able to get out of spending the night because of various excuses, but due to some increased responsibilities, this year I had no choice but to stay at the hotel.
On the first evening, due to a meeting, several of us ended up having a very late dinner. We didn’t even go downstairs until almost 9 p.m. For me, that is a very late meal. While we were eating, the restaurant in the hotel started transforming into the nighttime bar/nightclub, complete with dancing. We knew our meal would crossover with the evening’s activities, but I wasn’t too worried about it, because I love people watching.
By the time we finished eating; part of the restaurant was packed with people who were attending our conference. There was loud music, dancing and, of course, booze. I stuck around for a few minutes, but what I saw really made me wonder.
I realize that most of the people at this conference are married and have families. I know people look forward to this event and seeing their friends from other cities. I also realize the value of the coveted “hall pass” that most people had requested in order to attend this conference. Besides, who are we kidding – alcohol makes any event all the more interesting.
When it comes to partying, I am not too much fun. I hardly drink. My eyes get very bloodshot when I stay up late. And I am extremely conservative. However, in the same breath, I like hanging out with my friends and people watching at these conferences – so I’ll do what I have to do and deal with the bar scene for as long as I can tolerate it.
Anyway, the music was blaring, we had just finished eating and this is what I saw. A scruffy looking guy wearing a wife beater (sorry, but that is truly the universal term for that t-shirt), old ripped jeans, a bizarre necklace, dancing by himself on the stage, appearing to be intoxicated and hitting on any lady that walked by him.
Now, under normal circumstances and out in public, I think he would have continued to spend the evening by himself, but now that alcohol had entered into the situation, ladies were all over him. Ladies I knew to be married were coming up to him, dancing with him, grinding with him, making a sandwich on the dance floor with him, dirty dancing with him, etc. This guy was eating it up. He was trying his best to be all over the women. In most cases, he would hold them close, keep his hands on their butts while dancing or spank their butts repeatedly. That’s what started to set me off.
I think having drinks with some friends is OK. I think dancing with some friends is OK. But when it comes to dancing, I think dirty dancing, grinding, inappropriately dancing or (as a married female) letting a stranger grab and/or spank your butt is a problem.
This guy on stage was one example, but this stuff was happening elsewhere in the bar too. It made me ask myself why people act like that. Are they so desperate for a night out, that they let loose in inappropriate ways? Was the alcohol to blame? Am I just way too conservative on my views of the family structure and respecting your spouse? Is this kind of behavior acceptable in certain situations?
Someone told me that one of the ladies, who I thought was acting inappropriately, was getting married in 16 days. It made me wonder what her fiancé would have thought of her actions, had he been standing next to me.
I hate the meat market environment in bars late at night. Personally, I don’t know how a single person could meet anyone in a bar these days. I’ve been to my share of conferences over the years and this kind of behavior has always made me uncomfortable. I just think there is a fine line between having fun and crossing the line. I don’t know about you and your family, but the thought of my spouse dancing like that with someone else makes me sick to my stomach.
BTW, I didn’t post this picture the first time around. It’s not the best quality, but if you look closely, you can see the supposed hot commodity that ladies were interested in that night at our conference. Are you kidding me?
P.S. Thanks to Jennifer Juniper for editing this picture to a better quality than the one I originally posted.
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