Are You Married or What? The Sequel

September 21, 2009 by admncc

The most popular post (as far as views) I’ve ever written was “Are You Married or What?”  It was originally published on September 22, 2008.  It was a post that to this day, I am very proud of.  It was written about an interesting topic – spousal behaviors.  It is also a post that came out well before many of you started following The Constant Complainer.

Here’s the irony…  This past week was the same conference I was at last year when I wrote “Are You Married or What?”  And you know what – the exact same thing happened again this year.  Frankly, I don’t know why I’m acting surprised.  So I slightly tweaked it and this post is back for everyone to enjoy.

For part of last week, I was at a work-related conference.  This is a yearly event and even though it is held locally, for teambuilding purposes, they schedule evening activities and the entire group is required to spend the night at the same hotel.  The past few years, I was able to get out of spending the night because of various excuses, but due to some increased responsibilities, this year I had no choice but to stay at the hotel.

On the first evening, due to a meeting, several of us ended up having a very late dinner.  We didn’t even go downstairs until almost 9 p.m.  For me, that is a very late meal.  While we were eating, the restaurant in the hotel started transforming into the nighttime bar/nightclub, complete with dancing.  We knew our meal would crossover with the evening’s activities, but I wasn’t too worried about it, because I love people watching.

By the time we finished eating; part of the restaurant was packed with people who were attending our conference.  There was loud music, dancing and, of course, booze.  I stuck around for a few minutes, but what I saw really made me wonder.

I realize that most of the people at this conference are married and have families.  I know people look forward to this event and seeing their friends from other cities.  I also realize the value of the coveted “hall pass” that most people had requested in order to attend this conference.  Besides, who are we kidding – alcohol makes any event all the more interesting.

When it comes to partying, I am not too much fun.  I hardly drink.  My eyes get very bloodshot when I stay up late.  And I am extremely conservative.  However, in the same breath, I like hanging out with my friends and people watching at these conferences – so I’ll do what I have to do and deal with the bar scene for as long as I can tolerate it.

Anyway, the music was blaring, we had just finished eating and this is what I saw.  A scruffy looking guy wearing a wife beater (sorry, but that is truly the universal term for that t-shirt), old ripped jeans, a bizarre necklace, dancing by himself on the stage, appearing to be intoxicated and hitting on any lady that walked by him.

Now, under normal circumstances and out in public, I think he would have continued to spend the evening by himself, but now that alcohol had entered into the situation, ladies were all over him.  Ladies I knew to be married were coming up to him, dancing with him, grinding with him, making a sandwich on the dance floor with him, dirty dancing with him, etc.  This guy was eating it up.  He was trying his best to be all over the women.  In most cases, he would hold them close, keep his hands on their butts while dancing or spank their butts repeatedly.  That’s what started to set me off.

I think having drinks with some friends is OK.  I think dancing with some friends is OK.  But when it comes to dancing, I think dirty dancing, grinding, inappropriately dancing or (as a married female) letting a stranger grab and/or spank your butt is a problem.

This guy on stage was one example, but this stuff was happening elsewhere in the bar too.  It made me ask myself why people act like that.  Are they so desperate for a night out, that they let loose in inappropriate ways?  Was the alcohol to blame?  Am I just way too conservative on my views of the family structure and respecting your spouse?  Is this kind of behavior acceptable in certain situations?

Someone told me that one of the ladies, who I thought was acting inappropriately, was getting married in 16 days.  It made me wonder what her fiancé would have thought of her actions, had he been standing next to me.

I hate the meat market environment in bars late at night.  Personally, I don’t know how a single person could meet anyone in a bar these days.  I’ve been to my share of conferences over the years and this kind of behavior has always made me uncomfortable.  I just think there is a fine line between having fun and crossing the line.  I don’t know about you and your family, but the thought of my spouse dancing like that with someone else makes me sick to my stomach.

BTW, I didn’t post this picture the first time around.  It’s not the best quality, but if you look closely, you can see the supposed hot commodity that ladies were interested in that night at our conference.  Are you kidding me?


P.S.  Thanks to Jennifer Juniper for editing this picture to a better quality than the one I originally posted.

All Posts / Business / Entertainment / Family/Lifestyle / General Moaning Bars / Business Trips / Dancing / Dating / Dirty Dancing / Hall Pass / Hotel Stays / Inappropriate Behavior / Marital Happiness / Marital Problems / Marriage / Meeting Someone in a Bar / Social Behavior / Spousal Behaviors / Spouses / Work Conferences /


  1. Wow. I don’t know why people behave that way and it would make me very uncomfortable to see a married girlfriend (or one in a committed relationship) dance that way with a stranger or even a co-worker. Alcohol release inhibitions but maybe it was they way they were raised. Are they a younger generation?

    I can’t see myself behaving that way. Like you, I really don’t drink that much. I just don’t have the desire to be that drunk.

    Flirting is one thing but what you are describing is not my definition of flirting.

  2. NeoConDon says:

    That’s a great picture of Zig. Since when does a gov’t “worker” get to go out partying with you?

  3. MikeE says:

    So you were at a Hawaiian themed Star Wars party?

  4. Extreme John says:

    Stuff like this annoys the hell out of me, I trust the other half to make good decisions, but can tell you that decision making like above would set me off.

  5. Dan says:

    Ahhh, working moms in need of a hall pass. They are soccer moms too. That guy was probably in heaven.

  6. Yuck. Maybe these women really don’t want to be married. Or, they’ve been watching a little too much sex in the city. Either way it is very sad.

  7. C. Princess says:

    I am far from being conservative but even I think it was wrong for the woman getting married in 16days to be doing what she was doing. To me it showed a great lack of respect towards her fiancé. I suppose we each have our own definition of cutting loose and having and I guess for the woman getting married hers was letting a guy spank her but if some strange guy put his hand on my butt while dancing or tried spanking me I think it’s safe to say he wouldn’t have any arms left.

    Hmm, I wonder how she will behave at her bachelorette party?

    “hot commodity”

    Eww! Nothing hot about him.

  8. CC, you know the best place to pick up women is at a tot lot!

  9. mark smith says:

    So now we all know what Darth Vader looks like without the helmet and cape. There is a reason why this guy was all alone, and those of us who are married know what that reason is. Respect. He obviously had nothing to lose; not his sense of style which was painfully obvious by his wardrobe choice for the night. Not his lack of a partner since he had no where to go but up.

    The whole idea of “what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas” mentality while on the weekend hall pass seems to apply to both sexes. Let’s just hope you and your spouse are more like the Constant Complainer than the dance floor -light saber wielding-booty slapping-King Kamehameha-Redneck Goofball at the convention. The only thing missing from the picture was a caption that read “I want to spank your booty!”

  10. Jane says:

    It sounds like the letting-your-hair-down thing got a little inappropriate. At least for my taste. I’m not married and I wouldn’t even act like that. Sounds like some of these moms/women needed some attention. Sad.

  11. Jane says:

    P.S. That guy is nasty.

  12. I’m all for dancing when I’m out and drinking a few beers makes it more fun. I have the most fun going old school and dancing with a bunch of girls in a circle (high school dances anyone?)
    If there is a guy in the mix, it’s because he has worked his way into the circle. We usually have fun with him by dancing along, but I have never allowed a stranger to grind or spank me!
    Remember when you were a kid and you were taught not to do anything you wouldn’t want your mom to see? I think that same bit of advice goes a long way in a marriage.

  13. MajorLeague09 says:

    I think that kind of behavior is unacceptable. I’m married and I would never “unwind” by having someone grind on me or slap my butt, unless it was my husband. Going out and having a couple drinks with friends is fun, but just because you have a convention doesn’t mean that it is a free for all. Now a days, you just never know what disease people might have and even just kissing someone could give you something. No thanks.

  14. This guy doesn’t look very appetizing to me. Did he have big feet or something?

  15. Andrea G says:

    Interesting – what types of conference do you go to Craig! I was there but for the record was spending quality time with my husband! Actually every night I was asleep by 11PM.

  16. i can tell you with absolute certainty that i am NOT married.

    so. that takes care of that. grind away!

    jk i’m not a slutty slut

  17. Tristan says:

    Since there is unanimous agreement that this sort of behavior is not acceptable, I wonder if anyone subscribes to the idea that it’s ok to “look but don’t touch,” as I’m curious as to the difference.

  18. Zig says:

    Those women were probably just having some innocent fun with a drunk guy. First, this guy was a loser. I doubt any of the women were attracted to him. The women were probaly trying to embarass this dude by having him shoot his wad, in his pants, and then go to the bathoom and clean himself up alone!

    That is some funny shit! Let women be women! If nothing was exchanged, did it really happen?

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