Moron of the Week Award #11
September 4, 2009 by admncc
Please take a second to close your eyes and imagine this with me…
In the middle of the night, a guy drives up to an adult video (and sex toy) store. He crashes his car through the first set of doors and drives into the store. He gets out of the car, but it is still moving. As he runs through the store, his car slowly moves forward, but stops when hitting another set of doors. The guy then becomes a full-fledged suspect by stealing a $300 sex toy. But then he abruptly drops that toy and grabs a different model from the shelf. Finally, he jumps in his car, crashes through the store’s other set of doors and speeds out of the parking lot.
Why am I mentioning this, you ask? Oh, wait, because it actually happened! That’s right; this past Wednesday in Brownhelm Township, Ohio. You can view Adultmart’s video surveillance of the incident here (it’s about one minute long).
I couldn’t stop laughing after watching the video for three reasons. First, wow, is it me or did Adultmart spring for some top-of-the-line video equipment. Seriously, it is clear and multi-angled. If the cops can’t catch this guy (also considering that his license plate was visible in one of the camera angles), shame on them. Second, did this guy actually think he wouldn’t get caught? Third, I love the glimpse of the blowup doll you see during the second crash.
Also, it is worth mentioning that deputies believed the suspect to be driving a purple or burgundy Dodge Neon. Are you serious? That is a problem in itself. Neons are OK, but purple or burgundy? Come on!
Anyway, the Sheriff’s office responded when the alarm was triggered, but they were too late to observe the crime in progress.
We’ll publish this guy’s name when they catch him. But for now, we’ll call him Adult Store Guy, and he receives the “Moron of the Week Award” for this week…