Moron of the Week Award #4

May 14, 2009 by admncc

The MOTWA is back.  Here are this week’s nominations:

  • Spider Hater.  Guy who set his house on fire while trying to kill a spider with a lighter.  According to firefighters in England, the damage could have been worse, had he not made such quick use of his garden hose.
  • Repeat Prisoner.  Guy who was locked up again, after he was witnessed wearing a “Prisoner” t-shirt out in public.  Apparently he took it with him at the time of his last release.  He has now been charged in California with receiving stolen property.
  • Cigarette Lady.  She was charged in Florida with disorderly conduct after she knocked on a person’s door one night, while naked, asking for a cigarette.  It is unknown as to why she chose that specific residence or if her request was granted.
  • Bat Guy.  He walked into a Boston area retailer and is accused of using a baseball bat to smash 16 TV’s worth about $13,000.  His argument – he was laid off.
  • Boxing Employee.  An employee of a retailer in Wisconsin is accused of punching a customer because the customer asked to speak to a Manager about an item return.  Can we say background checks anyone?
  • Tattoo Dude.  Guy in Edmonton who had breast implants implanted into a tattoo on his leg.  Two weeks later an infection set in.  Yuck!

I use various sources for the Moron of the Week Award.  They range from reader suggestions to media outlets to my own research.

If you want to read them, here are the original news stories: Spider Hater, Repeat Prisoner, Cigarette Lady, Bat Guy, Boxing Employee and Tattoo Dude.

Thanks for making this piece such a popular addition to The Constant Complainer.

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  1. Mike N says:

    I’d probably have to vote for Spider Hater. He could have avoided his house fire had he just used his boot to kill the spider, or perhaps he could have bummed a cigarette off of the naked lady to burn the spider. It’s safer.

    The repeat prisoner guy isn’t a moron I don’t think. If the prison let him walk out with the t-shirt, then that’s their problem. It’s sort of like a motel, you take what you can fit in your suitcase.

    The cigarette lady isn’t a moron either…she just needed a smoke. I can sympathize. Sometimes it’s too difficult to think about such mundane tasks as getting dressed when all you covet is that sweet fix of nicotine.

    The bat guy just had a bad day and he could have used a gun instead of a bat. Way to be smart about that dude.

    Boxing employee: Well, who hasn’t wanted to punch a customer.

    Tattoo Dude: Well he’s just a funny guy. Nothing wrong there.

    I’m joking of course. They’re all morons but I’ll still stick with spider hater.

  2. c.princess says:

    My vote is for all of them but I do kind of feel sorry for cigarette lady. She may have some type of an emotional problem.

  3. Laura says:

    Funny post, Mike!

    I’d have to say Cigarette Lady…funny but REALLY moronic.

    Tattoo guy was a runner-up but I gave him extra points for creativity.

    Bat guy and boxing employee…I feel for them. We’ve all been there…(with the exeption of Tristan who NEVER loses his temper…tee hee).

    The prisoner guy just wanted a little souvenir. Let the guy have the damn T-shirt!

    I empathize with spider guy. Everytime I see a spider I go into panic mode and grab the first thing I see to kill it. Lesson to myself…keep lighters, candles, and blow tourches out of sight from now on.

  4. The spider guy is definitely missing a few brain cells.

  5. Chris says:

    Mike makes a good case. They’re all idiots but each of them has a ‘could be worse’ option except Spider dude.

    My vote is for the spider monkey.

  6. Tristan says:

    Thanks for remembering, Laura, but don’t forget, I did lose my temper twice. Of course, I was a young fool back then.

    Instead of the prisoner, I think the State of California should be moron of the week.

  7. Jen says:

    I would vote for the spider guy. That is just ridiculous. I have worked in retail and while I don’t endorse violence in any way I can understand how one would like to punch out a customer on occasion.

  8. Sugar says:

    They are all morons, but I will have to go with the Spider Guy. What an idiot!

  9. Ha! I had to read the last one twice to figure out the breast implant thing! That’s hilarious!

    I’m guessing that most of the candidates are mentally unbalanced, but the spider guy seems just plain stupid. Mark me down for him.

  10. Definitely tattoo dude.

  11. I vote for Spiderman. I think this is the 4th thing I’ve read about people catching their houses on fire due to a spider. You don’t need fire to kill it, a shoe will do just fine.

  12. MikeE says:

    Mike’s must think alike as I feel the same as Mike N. Prison dude was just showing his Pride for the California penal system.

  13. Extreme John says:

    I have to go with Spider hater for the simple fact that the second I read the first line I almost blew my ice coffee out of my snot box.

    The Prison moron would place a close second in the event the Spider one didn’t almost take me out.

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