Can We Be Honest? – Guest Post

April 24, 2009 by admncc

Here at The Constant Complainer, in addition to my own posts, readers can submit Guest Posts on topics they would like to complain about.  Leo Nevoli submitted the below-Guest Post.  His complaint is the firestorm surrounding the recent Miss USA Pageant and what is being viewed as a controversial answer to a question given by Carrie Prejean, who was Miss California.  Enjoy and without further adieu, here’s Leo…

Several years ago, my cousin introduced me to her then boyfriend.  After talking to this guy for 15 minutes, I realized he was a major ass, and did not know what my cousin saw in him.  After I was done talking with him, my cousin asked me what I thought about the guy because she felt like “he was the one” for her.  I gave the politically correct answer of, “I think he is O.K.”  I wanted to be honest and tell her she was way too good for this guy, but I did not want to rain on her parade.  The two did get married, and after three short years, they got divorced.  She then held an “I’m Single Again” party.  She and I talked about him that night, and I told her what I thought about telling her years ago.  Her reply was, “You are about the tenth family member to tell me this.  Why couldn’t you be truthful to me years ago, and I could have avoided my mistake?”

My cousin wanted me to be honest with her years ago, but instead I took the easy way out and gave the answer she wanted to hear, but it got me in trouble with her.  I am sure I could have told her the truth back then, only to be told that I am trying to ruin her happiness and she would have hated me for saying that about her man.  Who knows she may have listened to me, and she may have avoided this event.  Bottom line is I was not honest with her, so I guess in a way I lied to her, even though I grew up being told not to lie.  After that night of the party, I have always tried to tell people the truth; even if it was the answer they did not want to hear, much like what Miss California Carrie Prejean did this past Sunday during the Miss USA Pageant.

For those that missed it, Miss Prejean was asked a question about states legalizing gay marriage, by Perez Hilton, an openly gay man.  With the crown on the line for her, Miss Prejean fumbled through her answer, by answering it honestly by saying she is against gay marriage.  Some judges of the pageant, which consisted of at least 2 gay men and one judge having a sister in a gay marriage; were offended by her answer.  I guess they expected her to stand in front of the television cameras and lie to make them happy.  One judge has even criticized Miss Prejean by saying she should have known her audience.  What if Miss Prejean gave the politically correct answer; the answer the judges wanted her to give?  What if her politically correct answer won the crown and in a few months or years it comes out she was against gay marriages.  She would have lied when she was asked that question.  What would the backlash be to her?  Would people be demanding she give up the crown, because she lied to win the crown?  Perez Hilton asked a question that he could not handle someone speaking honestly about because her answer was not the same as his opinion.  He has since put Miss Prejean down calling her names and making a big deal over her honestly.  I guess he wanted her to lie, and if she did she may have won the crown.

I might be one of the few people that are looking at it this way, but I applaud Miss Prejean for being honest, regardless of her answer.  It should not matter if you think gay marriage is right or wrong in this situation, you had someone answer a question honestly.  Do you think that the other girls answered their questions honestly?  That each one gave an answer that they truly believe in?  Perez Hilton was a judge in this event, and just because Miss Prejean answered the question honestly should not have affected her score because she did not give the answer he or the other judges wanted.  Of course people will say Miss Prejean is insensitive to gay rights, and they can’t have Miss USA being insensitive to people’s rights.  In a pageant, you look for someone to represent your organization for the next year, and sometimes people’s views are not that of the pageant organizers.

This world is filled with two-faced people, but let someone be honest, and they get scorned for not giving the answer people want.  Miss Prejean’s answer may have cost her the crown, but her honestly may win her more respect from others.  Either way, what ever answer Miss Prejean gave that night, it was the wrong answer.  I guess in today’s world, honesty is not the best policy, it is better to tell people what they want to hear, because it can lead to a greater reward.  I’m Leo Nevoli, and that’s my ponderings.

All Posts / Celebrities / Entertainment / Family/Lifestyle / Group Sharing / Guest Posts / Politics California / Carrie Prejean / Debate / Gay Rights / Miss California / Miss USA Pageant / Political Debate / State of California /


  1. c.princess says:

    I watched the Miss USA competition on Sunday. I always do. I love to see what they wear for the evening gown competition. I noticed after she answered the question Perez kind of shook his head and I knew right then she was screwed.

  2. NeoConDon says:

    For the record, Trump was interviewed by Bill O’Reilly last night, and he made it pretty clear that she was not in the lead going in, and that her answer likely didn’t keep her from winning.

    There’s a bigger story here that the media isn’t covering either because they refuse to tell the real story, or they’re too stupid…

    Here are a couple questions:

    1. Why is it being reported that Miss California gave a “controversial” answer to a question that she answered honeslty, and in step with the majority of Americans, including Californians? Her answer is far from controversial. The example that she set for young women is terrific.

    2. Why isn’t the media bashing Perez Hilton for being hateful, intolerant, and childish. The next day, he called Miss California a dumb bitch, and that’s why she lost. It’s likely that he’s playing to his audience, but his behavior is what makes the gay community look bad and pushes voters back that might be on the fence when it comes to the marriage issue. He is angry, biggotted, and intolerant.

  3. Sugar says:

    It’s a touchy subject with people. She was honest, which is what you would think a Miss USA pagent would be based on. She was in a no win situation with that question. But it’s funny because I watched the Miss USA pagent and for the life of me, I can’t remember who actually won. But I will remember Miss Prejean, first runner up.

  4. NeoConDon says:

    I’d like to nominate Perez Hilton for Moron of the Week for being an intolerant bigot.

  5. I applaud Miss California for being honest. The question posed was what do YOU think of gay marriages. Yes, I totally get it. It’s 2009 and there are more and more openly gay people around and I believe that they do deserve equal rights but people also have to understand that not everyone supports it.

    I think that everyone is making a huge deal out of this because she openly said she was against gay marriage. Big freaking deal. Why is it wrong to be against gay marriage? Why is her one answer plauging my internet news, tv news, and night time tv talk shows? Big freaking deal. Did she openly say that she wants every gay American flogged, tarred, feathered and quartered? Did she say she hates gay people? No she simply said that she thought marriage should be between a man and a woman.

    I am, however, disappointed that she said its “bibically correct”. Let’s not kid ourselves, why do people pick and choose what they want to follow from the Bible? Doesn’t the Bible also state that you should not wear clothes made of more than one type of fabric? Doesn’t the Bible also say not to judge? Everyone who is going on and on about Carrie’s answer is judging her so shame on them.

    Don’t use the Bible to defend your point of view and completely neglect the rest of it.

    And yes, Perez is a huge douche bag for calling her a dumb bitch and a cunt. Way not to judge people eh? We should make fun of everyone who has different views than we do.

  6. Holly says:

    I’m in agreement with you 100%! I applaud her for answering the question honestly, rather than giving the answer that probably could have gained her points and maybe even won the crown. Too many people today aren’t honest about how they feel because they want to avoid controversy, myself included. I get so tired of “arguing” with people because my opinion doesn’t match theirs or isn’t what they want to hear. Imagine how boring this world would be if we all had the same opinion about everything! That’s the best thing about living here in the US of A, we are ALLOWED to feel how we want to! But, that also doesn’t give us the right to think that people have to think and feel the same way that we do!

    AWESOME post!

  7. The Constant Complainer says:

    I sent an e-mail to Perez Hilton this afternoon inviting him to visit The Constant Complainer and defend himself. I’m not sure that he feels he needs to, but the opportunity was extended to him nonetheless. In most cases, I’m all about both sides of the story…

  8. Gina says:

    @Jenny Georgiowho – I did want to clear up why some people “pick and choose” from the Bible what they believe. Christians believe that the New Testament teaches that the rituals and laws of the Old Testament were intended to serve as a picture the coming Messiah. The Mosaic rituals served a very important purpose. The rituals pointed to the coming Messiah, and the moral laws show us the need for his salvation.

    Once Jesus had come, there was no longer a need for rituals that look ahead to his coming. Instead we have rituals (communion and baptism) which look back to what he already did. Once he fulfilled the Old Testament rituals, they were no longer needed. But God’s moral laws are for all time (such as the Commandments.)

    But there are verses in the New Testament which also prohibit homosexuality. But I don’t see that God puts homosexuality above any other sin. Some people, especially Christians, vilify gays. I think, actually, that Christians can easily demonize the one sin they’ve probably never been tempted by. God made every person and we are required to love them all.

    This is a contentious issue but Ms. Prejean told the truth knowing her audience was pro-gay marriage. If this pageant were held in the Bible Belt, she would have been applauded just as a contestant who gave a pro-gay marriage answer there would probably have been rejected in the same way.

    What many of Americans have forgotten is that it’s not a liberal/conservative problem, but rather a refusal to respect another’s opinion. America is still a democracy.

  9. Chris says:

    Haha. I would love to see the Perez explain himself. I’m not a fan – but he does make lots of cash … hmmm.

  10. Listen, Perez didn’t give a crap what she really felt, he only asked the question to further his own agenda. I’m sure he figured she was a liberal being from California, but it turned out she wasn’t. It backfired on him and he was pissed.

    I’m glad she was honest and she could been more P. C. about it, but she explained what SHE THOUGHT – which is what he asked of her. It could have gone one of two ways and he took the risk.

  11. Tristan says:

    I’m with Jennifer, here. You don’t ask a loaded question like that unless you’re sure it’s pointed away from you. Turns it he caught it on the chin, as he should.

    There aren’t many vertebrates among us anymore. Kudos to Miss Cali for that. Maybe watching the Land of Plenty deteriorate has brought integrity back into style.

  12. NeoConDon says:

    Tristan Says:
    Maybe watching the Land of Plenty deteriorate has brought integrity back into style.

    Well put Tristan. I “hope” you’re right.

  13. Jen says:

    My most recent post on my website discusses these issues. But, I focus more on the media and the fact that gay marriage as an issue has gotten completely lost in the shuffle during this whole freak fest. I’m sure Hilton is pleased in the end that Miss California answered the way she did as it has furthered his exposure in the mainstream media in a way he could never have dreamed of otherwise. Trump is a business man and he succeeded in getting his pageant buzz. It’s all about the money.

  14. Dan says:

    Jen, I think you’re right. I’m going to check out your post too.

  15. Marissa says:

    It’s still just a “beauty contest”. In the 30 years I’ve seen these pageants – wait, I mean only 5 years because I’m not that old – I’ve yet to ever hear a contestant give any kind of intelligent answer to the questions, which is why honesty WOULD BE the best answer in any case. Contestants should just shut up and be great-looking bimbos in swimsuits. It’s not like they’re running for office.

  16. This is an interesting debate. I wonder if NeoConDon applauded the Dixie Chicks for ‘being honest’ and spoke out against the backlash directed at them for their honesty.

    What if she had said “I think George W. Bush is a war criminal and I hope our nation tries and convicts him for approving torture as public policy.” A substantial percentage of the American public shares this view as well.

  17. NeoConDon says:

    South Florida Lawyers provides us with a perfect example of how liberals just don’t get it. I know it’s very difficult for the simple liberal brain to understand conservatism, but c’mon. Your second paragraph is just absurd.

  18. The Constant Complainer says:

    Messages left for Perez Hilton weren’t immediately returned. LOL. I wonder why that is!

  19. Marissa says:

    Maybe he’s got the Swine Flu, that pig.

  20. David S. McQueen says:

    What we see in Perez Hilton is fascism. Hilton vilifies the beautiful Miss California because she didn’t give the politically correct answer to his question.

    Leo is correct, but doesn’t take it far enough. The fascists who hide behind a facade of gay “rights” and “saving the planet” are thugs who see everyone NOT in lock step with them as the enemy. Those who question the “science” of global warming and the legality of same-sex marriage are deemed by the fascist Hiltons as enemies of the state.

    Napolitano (head of Homeland Security) even went so far as to warn everyone that people on the right of the political spectrum are “radical” and “extremist”.

    I hope all you Obamanites are sleeping well at night; I’m not.

  21. NeoConDon says:

    Right on, David McQueen.

  22. Extreme John says:

    The sad reality is there are very few people in this world that actually want to hear the truth and there are even less that can handle the truth when they hear it.

  23. I have this problem ALL the time. All your life you’re told to be honest, be yourself and then when you do you’re slammed, treated like your an asshole and possibly lose friends. All because they asked a question and you answered honestly, well I’m sorry I sugarcoat nothing. If you don’t want my honest opinion don’t ask. When I ask someone something I expect to be told the truth, but how often do we REALLY hear someones real thoughts on a given matter? Perez Hilton needs to choke on a dick except he probably never gets any hence his anger. Why does he get to blab his disrespectful mouth with his brutal honest opinion all the time and then turn around and call someone a “dumb bitch” when they do the same? He really needs to burst his bubble and check himself and recognize who the real “dumb bitch” is…

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