Moron of the Week Award #1
March 18, 2009 by admncc
I’m going to introduce a new section on this blog today. It will be called the “Moron of the Week Award” and you, the readers, will be helping to make the selection.
As you know, in my posts, many times I document the truly strange behavior that certain people exhibit. This will be another way we can discuss and enjoy those situations. In addition to any other posts, weekly, I’ll publish some moronic stories and the readers can review, vote on and discuss them.
Here are this week’s nominations:
- The little kid that ran out in front of my car on Friday. This was truly the absolute closest that I have ever come to a major accident, without having one. I was driving down a four-lane street by my house and this kid ran right out in front of my car. He was looking to the left while running, but I was coming to his right. I was going the speed limit of 25 mph. This kid bolted out in front of me and I literally slammed on the breaks and came within an inch of hitting him. Everything from the back seat, including my briefcase, went flying into the front seat. I almost ate the rear-view mirror too. This kid wasn’t even fazed and just ran along. I rolled down my window and screamed at him, only to realize that he was about three years old and didn’t even realize what he was doing. Where were his parents? Maybe they should be nominated for the award too.
- The lady who sat next to me at the Cavs game on Sunday. She talked through the entire game. I had four tickets in a row that had five seats. I was sitting in the seat next to the one ticket we didn’t have. This lady sat down, started talking and she knew everything about basketball. That is fine. But what wasn’t fine was her critiquing every single play of the entire game. I like sports, sporting events, talking sports, etc. That’s all good. And I’m happy to talk to my fellow fans during a game. But what I don’t like is someone sitting next to me and literally calling the game out loud as I watch it. She broke down every play, analyzed every formation, called every foul and just generally did play-by-play. That pisses me off. And it’s not like she was doing it quietly. Everyone around us heard. It’s like the guy who sits next to you and debates the movie plot out loud at the theatre.
- The landscape company that solicited at my father-in-law’s house. The guy comes into my father-in-law’s yard, walks through his mulch, stomps on the flowers, tracks mulch up to the porch and then leaves a flyer promoting his landscaping business on the door. LOL. My father-in-law called them and told them they lost a customer they never had. Good for him. That’s one of the funniest stories I’ve ever heard. They didn’t even offer to replace the flowers they ruined…
- Me. That’s right; The Constant Complainer. My wife bought the wrong cat food and our cats were getting sick. So I went to throw it out, but then decided to help feed the squirrels or whatever else would eat it. But instead of throwing the food behind the garage like I originally planned, I put in next to our birdfeeder, which is right by our dining room window. Last night a skunk decided to eat the cat food, only to get into a fight with a hungry possum. Needless to say, punches were thrown and the skunk sprayed the possum (and the side of our house). That was a lovely smell throughout the night.
Let the discussions begin and enjoy the rest of your Wednesday. Oh, and if you have a story and want to nominate someone for this award, let me know…