Moron of the Week Award #1
March 18, 2009 by admncc
I’m going to introduce a new section on this blog today. It will be called the “Moron of the Week Award” and you, the readers, will be helping to make the selection.
As you know, in my posts, many times I document the truly strange behavior that certain people exhibit. This will be another way we can discuss and enjoy those situations. In addition to any other posts, weekly, I’ll publish some moronic stories and the readers can review, vote on and discuss them.
Here are this week’s nominations:
- The little kid that ran out in front of my car on Friday. This was truly the absolute closest that I have ever come to a major accident, without having one. I was driving down a four-lane street by my house and this kid ran right out in front of my car. He was looking to the left while running, but I was coming to his right. I was going the speed limit of 25 mph. This kid bolted out in front of me and I literally slammed on the breaks and came within an inch of hitting him. Everything from the back seat, including my briefcase, went flying into the front seat. I almost ate the rear-view mirror too. This kid wasn’t even fazed and just ran along. I rolled down my window and screamed at him, only to realize that he was about three years old and didn’t even realize what he was doing. Where were his parents? Maybe they should be nominated for the award too.
- The lady who sat next to me at the Cavs game on Sunday. She talked through the entire game. I had four tickets in a row that had five seats. I was sitting in the seat next to the one ticket we didn’t have. This lady sat down, started talking and she knew everything about basketball. That is fine. But what wasn’t fine was her critiquing every single play of the entire game. I like sports, sporting events, talking sports, etc. That’s all good. And I’m happy to talk to my fellow fans during a game. But what I don’t like is someone sitting next to me and literally calling the game out loud as I watch it. She broke down every play, analyzed every formation, called every foul and just generally did play-by-play. That pisses me off. And it’s not like she was doing it quietly. Everyone around us heard. It’s like the guy who sits next to you and debates the movie plot out loud at the theatre.
- The landscape company that solicited at my father-in-law’s house. The guy comes into my father-in-law’s yard, walks through his mulch, stomps on the flowers, tracks mulch up to the porch and then leaves a flyer promoting his landscaping business on the door. LOL. My father-in-law called them and told them they lost a customer they never had. Good for him. That’s one of the funniest stories I’ve ever heard. They didn’t even offer to replace the flowers they ruined…
- Me. That’s right; The Constant Complainer. My wife bought the wrong cat food and our cats were getting sick. So I went to throw it out, but then decided to help feed the squirrels or whatever else would eat it. But instead of throwing the food behind the garage like I originally planned, I put in next to our birdfeeder, which is right by our dining room window. Last night a skunk decided to eat the cat food, only to get into a fight with a hungry possum. Needless to say, punches were thrown and the skunk sprayed the possum (and the side of our house). That was a lovely smell throughout the night.
Let the discussions begin and enjoy the rest of your Wednesday. Oh, and if you have a story and want to nominate someone for this award, let me know…
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Nice job moron – The constant complainer gets another award
We have a few Mike’s that comment on this blog. In this case, this is a new Mike. So, welcome, and thanks for the vote!
You can’t really give a vote to the kid that is 3, because he is young and does not understand the big cars driving can hit you, if you said the parents of the kind instead of “maybe they should be nominated”, and then it would be them.
That lady at the game, I feel sorry for. She could be the season ticket holder of that single seat, and the only chance she has to socialize with people is taking a bus to the game, where she can be around people, then goes home to an empty house. She finally gets to speak and be heard, and you shut her out.
I hate to say this CC, but I have to go with you. Putting the cat food out by the house is not smart. My Wife decided last year to put some cat food out for a cat that she found sleeping on our front porch, next day there were three cats on the porch. She put more food out. That night when she looked out to see if the cats were there, she found raccoons eating the food. The cats still came around, and stated using the yard and flower bed as a litter, and she was complaining about the cats ruining her flowers. With this warm weather, I am surprised they are not at my front door.
You got my vote this week CC!
I think the readers should nominate. This is TYRANNY…!!!
NeoConDon, you can nominate! It says that in the last sentence of the post. I think the landscape company gets my vote.
Good one, CC! I know from experience that the skunk smell takes a while to go away from the house. For your sake, I’ll be praying for a good spring rain to help wash it away!
This list is great!
Thanks Jane. I didn’t see that. My brain isn’t firing too well today…had 4 delicious Guinesses last night.
I nominate Zig for being a pig! There are probably a bunch of stay home moms and dads holding their tounges.
I nominate the parents of the kid, for the simple reason, when I let my kids play outside I’m with them. My 2 year old knows to stop and look both ways at the road.
YOUR YARD: 1 cup of non-foaming (liquid, non-lemon) dishwasher soap + 1 gallon clear vinegar in a pump sprayer.
YOUR HOME: Exterior walls & decks – 1 cup bleach + 1 gallon water in your sprayer. Repeated sprays may be required or Oxiclean in water but will kill plants. Interior – Bags of rags, Pine Sol in a wash bucket, soak rags, use once & throw away (right into a plastic bag). Wash your rugs, curtains & anything fabric that you can. Don’t be surprised to find some closed closets you thought were ok really smell once the air in the house isn’t so bad.
You’re too funny:) The basketball women gets the 1st prize and you get the 2nd!
Im going to have to go with the lady. ANNOYING!
Your story about the cat food was funny. The part when you talked about punches being thrown immediately catapulted my imagination into a visual of a possum and a skunk on their hind legs with mini boxing gloves taking upper cuts, jabs and hooks at each other. You standing in the dining room window, watching and officiating the game. You announce…”and the possum goes down with the stench of the skunk! We have a TKO!” Your wife stands in the distance her arms folded across her chest, shaking her head. You are a bad ass!
I nominate the 3 year old’s parents.
It is not the child’s fault he was out there alone and ran into the road.
The parents should have been with him at all times.
Not only can a child run into the road and get hit, but they can get snatched too.
In the same amount of time it took you to almost hit him, a pedophile could have grabbed him and been long gone.
Stupid, irresponsible parents. They are the morons.
And what you did, yeah, that wasn’t exactly the smartest move…LOL
I say….. YOU. it happens though. btw. good movie
Haha. Brilliant. Moron of the week – I like it. I nominate that annoying game caller lady person. I personally would have “accidently” kicked her in the shins.
the landscaper has my vote.
I go with the lady at the basketball game — highly annoying!
Great post. I hate the smell of skunk. But I hate idiot parents more. So the parents who weren’t watching their kid run into the street are the ones I am frowning on this week!
Great visual Audrey……know the CC and his wife makes the story that much funnier because that is what would happen.
Oh and thanks for the warm welcome CC
I would have to say the lady at the Cavs game. There is always someone within earshot of this at events and it’s soooo annoying!
I agree with Kat..the 3 year olds parents should definitely get the award…
I would like to nominate NCD for being the biggest moron on the planet! Nobody cares about his political weaknesses, but he continues to make the rest of us suffer. NCD needs a new audience…to annoy! Homeschooling is for LOSERS!
CC, thanks for the venue to share my thoughts about NCD, his anti-social leanings, his political weaknesses and his LAZINESS!
It’s not posted, but I have my own nomination: The child and Mother that opened my dressing room door over the weekend.
I’m changing clothes in the dept. store, and of course there are no locks on the doors. I hear this child and Mother come in to the area, and he says “Mom, which door do I go into?”. Now let’s see, one door is shut and the other is open. Which one do you think he opened? Mine. So there I am, partially dressed, trying to cover up, and repeatedly telling the boy to shut the door. This kid had to be 6 or 7 years old; too old to be in a dressing room with his Mom. Anyway, he just stands there and doesn’t seem to be comprehending what I was saying. I finally told him to close the #$%&@ door and told the Mom to watch her #$%&^ kid.
Yes, I felt terrible when the kid started crying, but I didn’t feel like being the “peepshow” star of the day. Still, they both get my nomination.
I’m going to change my nomination to His Royal Highness, King Barry the Great for showing us his true colors and telling us what the really thinks about the physically and mentally handicapped. He is a disgrace to the office, and he isn’t competent enough to work for the DMV. He is without a doubt the dumbest “President” we’ve ever elected.
Of course Don nominates a political figure. Wow. Shocker. But seriously, that Special Olympics comment on Leno is certainly causing some unkind media attention. I’m sure it isn’t easy with everyone watching and analyzing every word you say.
I, without hesitation, choose the lady who sat next to you at the Cavs game on Sunday. You sat there in annoyance as is understandable, but I am willing to bet there were quite a few other than you that would have liked nothing more than to give her a good smack upside the head and tell her to shut her trap. People are unbelievable. The lack of manners on most peoples part is pathetic.
Aww that sucks Sugar! How embarrassing 🙁
Definitely going for the parents of the 3 yr old! OMG people like this annoy the shit out of me! When my kids were little we lived in a large mobile home community that was FILLED with kids. Didn’t matter if the kids were toddlers or teens, they’d run out into the street without a moments hesitation, causing many cars to slam on their brakes! And of course, if you dared say anything, the next thing you knew, the parent was knocking on your door giving you a piece of their mind. Funny thing is, I think they gave away their piece of mind so often that they didn’t have any mind left to pay attention to their freaking kids! I’ll never say I am a perfect parent, I know for a fact that I’ve screwed up my fair share of times. But as of yet I’ve not had a parent tell me or my kids off because my kids were out running into the streets because when they were outside, I was always with them!
But you CC definitely get the 2nd vote. Living in the middle of the woods, I totally know the damage wild animals can do when there’s food or garbage left where they can get to it! Best of luck getting rid of the smell!
I’m choosing the landscaper, dumb ass (let the record show the cat food move was classic).
I would also like to introduce the idiot parents I saw at Disney who had their kid on a leash so that they could stand in line talking with their friends (4 adults + 1 kid and he was on a leash). As they talked the line moved and the kid tripped and fell, but they kept on talking and moving…dragging the kid on the concrete about 2 feet on his head before they noticed. Nice.
The person that walked over the plants delivering fliers for a landscape company should make repairs to the flower bed. I run a lawn service too. I rely on word of mouth for advertising. Word of mouth can be very poweful and can ruin a business also. He keep doing bonhead things like that he will not be in business for long.
I can’t go with the kid being a moron, however I can go with his parents being morons and they get my vote.
As for the chatty chick she’s just another example of why I prefer to stay in my cave.
The landscaper was using a new marketing concept, destroy and sell in this case it didn’t work for him. Just makes him an unfortunate genius. haha
As far as the cat food thats hysterical, it would be at the top of my list but I have to say I wouldn’t mind smashing the kids parents in the face with a shovel for their moronic parenting.
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