It’s the Worst – Guest Post
February 13, 2009 by admncc
Here at The Constant Complainer, in addition to my posts, readers can submit Guest Posts on topics they would like to complain about. Jane submitted the below-Guest Post. Her complaint is being single in her 30’s and how difficult it is. I enjoyed her submission and think you will too. I’ve often joked to my single friends that I couldn’t imagine dating in 2009 and that I feel sorry for them. I think Jane proves that theory. Everyone has been single at one time or another, so enjoy and without further adieu, here’s Jane…
OK, I saw The Constant Complainer’s request for a Guest Post from a single girl in her 30’s. That’s me! Yippie. It’s so much fun. NOT. BTW, I’m not a blogger, but I’ll do my best here. And I’ll probably jump around a little bit, but I think I’m capable of bringing the point home.
I’m 31 and have been out of college since 2000. I’ve been in a few relationships, but none that was ever “the one.” So let me tell you about the routine that has become my life. I work, I come home, I work out, I sleep and I go back to work again. Well, there’s more to it than that. I’m not boring by any stretch of the means, but I’m just wondering if I’ll be lonely forever. That’s a terrible feeling. So now, the weekends have become my time to try and find “Mr. Right.” I’m sure I won’t hit everything on my mind as I write this, and I don’t know if everyone will be able to relate to it or not, but we’ll see.
Bars – If anyone tells you that you can meet someone at a bar, they are lying. Sure, like I want to meet some drunken guy with beer goggles who is more interested in getting me in the sack than talking to me. Not going to happen. I actually don’t do too many bars because I don’t drink that much. So I guess that’s not my scene. Dancing is OK, but again, the alcohol factor in lingering. Maybe a wine bar?
Internet Dating – Been there, done that! Like anyone else, I know at least one couple who met on the Internet and got married, but my experiences haven’t been that good. I’ve had dates that lasted anywhere from ten minutes to a few hours, but nothing to write home about. I think some people lied on their profile, others were stalkers, one didn’t even look like his profile picture and the last few just wanted to bang as fast as possible. Lovely.
The Gym – I work out, but my gym is a meat-market. A bunch of muscle-head dudes with no brains. Actually, there seems to be a few normal guys there, but when I’m done working out, I’m all sweaty and really not feeling like I want to strike up a conversation with someone. Maybe I should?
Speed Dating – Hated it. I need more than a minute or two to decide if I want to get to know someone. Who knows if what they are telling me is true anyhow?
Bad Influences -Sex and the City, for one. Like any other girl, of course I like the show, but maybe I’m a prude for believing that I don’t need to sleep with every guy I date. Judging from some of the younger single ladies I know, I guess I’m not the norm, but I worry about everything from diseases to getting pregnant to just not wanting to sleep around. I just feel like it will happen if it’s meant to be in a particular relationship. I’ve always thought that I don’t need to sleep with someone just because I’m dating them. I will and I have, but I don’t think it is a “required” action. Plus, that forces me to ask the ever-so-important question, “How many people have you been with?” Yeah, that’s always a load of fun. Can you say the “deer in headlights” look?
The Talkers – Morons who talk through the whole date. Reminds me of “yada, yada, yada” from Seinfeld. I’ll ask questions and listen and hope you’ll do the same. But make it interesting.
Guys with Kids – I want to be a parent on my own terms. Call me selfish. A male friend of mine married a woman with a young child. He was fine with it, but I personally have no interest in the excess baggage of the other parent, shared weekends, etc. I’m not a bitch; I just don’t want to have to deal with that.
Blind Dates – Um, they’re OK. I get nervous, but one or two have worked out alright. I only agree to them when they are arranged by my best friends. I trust them and trust their judgment.
One Night Stands – No way. Do I need to say more! Disease, pregnancy, not knowing someone! Never done it. Fun isn’t that important to me. I’m more interested in my own future than bed hopping.
So I go to the movies, hang out with my friends, work out, periodically go out for a few drinks and try to live a normal life. But I’ve got to tell you, it’s hard meeting people. I hate having to decide if a guy is a player or if he’s going to call me 100 times right away and try to make it too serious too fast. Don’t stalk me! I am an educated working professional and I’m going to know if I want to spend more time with you or get to know you better. I was once told that I was too set in my ways to meet anyone. Yeah, I guess that happens as you get older and are single longer. But I think there’s someone out there for me. I just don’t know where he is.