Why Women Are Abused – Guest Post
October 7, 2008 by The Constant Complainer
In case this is your first visit, here at The Constant Complainer, in addition to my own posts, I offer the opportunity for readers to submit Guest Posts with their opinions and complaints. Today’s post was submitted by Christina. Christina is co-owner of The Star Celeb, a celebrity web blog that I like, based in Hollywood. She chose to tackle a difficult topic, and I’m sure readers will have mixed emotions about it. But here at The Constant Complainer – opinions, complaints and discussions are encouraged. Remember to leave her your comments…
According to EndAbuse.org estimates range from 960,000 incidents of violence against a current or former spouse, boyfriend, or girlfriend per year1 to three million women who are physically abused by their husband or boyfriend per year.
From almost one to three million people getting abused each year?
Generally speaking, I’d imagine you don’t punch or bite yourself so you better times that by two – so, two to six million people are involved in an abusive relationship every year – I don’t think that number is sad; I actually think it’s extremely pathetic.
I think it’s pathetic that women are constantly told by society “It’s not your fault”, “Don’t blame yourself”. Are you kidding me? Who should they blame? The man? Let me see if I can get the defense down, (always in such a seemingly blind shock) “oh my god, you punched me, you’re so mean” as if they didn’t see it coming long before the fist touched the cheek. “I thought you really loved me!”; yeah right, okay (imagine me rolling my eyes).
Why? Why doesn’t someone get right up in their face and ask them why, because I really want to know. I want to know why no one ever tells them “you know what, this IS your fault, there is no one else to blame, you need to get a grip on your life and get rid of the negativity in your life. You need only surround yourself with people that are 100% dedicated to you in that they treat you with respect and dignity not sometimes, but at ALL times, this means, lovers and friends, anyone you interact with.”
I don’t care where you came from, I was raised by meth heads and had a nightmare of a childhood and even I know getting punched around and other forms of abuse are absolutely not acceptable. If you came from an abusive childhood, that is all the more reason not to allow it when you are an adult, unlike when you were a child, YOU are now in charge. You cannot blame anyone but yourself for the things that you allow people to do to you, its not rocket science. If you came from a fantastic childhood, then no one should have to explain to you that allowing some dude to kick your ass all the time is ok nor should there be any confusion as to whether or not he cares for you – he doesn’t give a rats ass.
There are so many excuses and I want to list them but its making me angry just thinking about it because each one just adds up to the fact that you’re too chicken shit to stand up for yourself, you’d get eaten in the jungle.
To be frank, I have zero respect for abused women and I certainly do not feel bad for them in the tiniest respect.
Women activists can throw out anything they want but you know what? At the end of the day it boils down to the fact that you obviously don’t know who you are, you don’t know how to stand up for yourself, you don’t know how to show people to treat you with respect, you don’t know how to live “your” ideal life, it is not impossible, you can do this in a matter of fact but polite way, there is no excuse for abuse except the people who allow it to happen, IT IS YOUR FAULT, don’t be angry about it, fix it. I mean let’s get real, we treat people how to treat us I read that in an Ann Landers column when I was 17 and it sank in then, thank god. Women are abused because they allow themselves to be, it’s that simple.
I don’t have a daughter but if I did, I would teach her long before it was time for her to get a boyfriend how you expect to be treated and getting used as a punching bag and verbally abused is not on the wish list. I would teach her that she would have to let him go if she found herself in such a position because a man that doesn’t love himself can’t possibly love someone else. It’s quite obvious that an abusive person behaves the way they do because they are angry inside, more than likely due to unresolved issues with a completely different person other than the one they are abusing.
Take off the blinders ladies and face reality, first step to recovery is acceptance. You won’t stop sucking face with abusive men until you realize that you’re the real person to blame because the real men who aren’t abusive will smell your weakness and while more than likely they will not be outwardly rude, I guarantee they have no respect for you.
If a bank gets robbed and does nothing about it, don’t you suppose it would be robbed rather often?