Mean Spirited People

Do you ever reflect on your life?  Do you think about major events that occurred?  Do you remember events that changed who you where?  I do.

And adding fuel to the fire is the fact that I have a tremendous memory.  In fact, I can remember detailed events dating back to nursery school.  Unfortunately, with that being said, that also gives me an elaborate database of bad memories that I sometimes would like to forget.

For example, it’s a running joke at my house when I say, “I better never see my fifth grade music teacher again.”

When I was in the fifth grade, the big trend was being in the chorus.  Practically the entire class wanted to try out.  I remember only a few people staying back in the classroom that day - those who had absolutely no interesting in singing.

Now, even though this was the fifth grade, we still had to audition.  I was in the back of the room and sat through student after student singing a few lines.  Even though some of their voices were awful, the teacher kept telling each one they made it.  I was the last kid to audition.  There was nobody in the room but me and the teacher - which was good because I was very nervous.  I sang the first few lines of the song and then she stopped me.  She told me that I didn’t have a good voice and that she didn’t think I should be in the chorus.

Of course I was devastated and actually cried in the bathroom afterwards.  LOL.  To this day I know my singing voice is terrible.  But back then, it was just as lousy as 95% of the other kids who auditioned.  But yet, I was the only student who didn’t make the chorus.  I somehow felt that it was for other reasons.

But I didn’t give up.  I went back and auditioned the next year as a sixth grader and made it.  However, after all of the students auditioned, I still remember the chorus teacher coming in to talk to my sixth grade teacher.  She said, “All of the students are done.  They all made it, even Craig.  He can be in it this year if he really wants to be.”  I remember being furious at her comments.

So that leaves me wondering why, to this day, I can’t forget the fifth grade chorus.  It will haunt me forever, I guess.  An American Idol I’m not.

So in the spirit of confessions and ridding ourselves of bad memories, what is the one of the meanest things someone has ever done to you?  Let the complaints begin.

P.S.  RIP Brittany Murphy.  I loved the movie “8 Mile.”

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17 comments to Mean Spirited People

  • Jane

    I often reflect around the holidays. It is a great time to do so.

    I once had a boyfriend cheat on me with my best friend.

  • I remember someone telling me once that I looked like I shopped at goodwill really hurt my feelings.. mostly because I actually did. Now I wouldn’t care…

    I also got told I couldn’t sing at theater camp… If I ever have a kid they are going to take voice lessons.

  • Kat

    The absolute meanest thing ever done to me is what my sister did this past summer.
    She told my parents, brother and sister-in-law, my son’s Big Brother, anyone who would listen, that I was buying, selling, and using, cocaine, pot, heroin, and getting drunk every single day, and she basically kidnapped my sons for an entire week and refused to bring them back until I went to a drug counselor.
    I went, I pissed in a cup, gave a hair follicle sample, I talked, they called my doctor, I passed the drug test with flying colors. Not a single one of those drugs or the alcohol, was found to have been in my system at anytime within the previous 60 days.
    I got them to put it in writing and I scanned it and emailed it to my parents and family members, everyone had to apologize, but yeah, that was seriously the most evil thing anyone had ever done to me, all the cheating my ex-husband did didn’t even compare to what she had done to me.
    I am still angry at her for it, she has never apologized, and there are other things that she has done in the last 3 years that I can never forgive her for either.

  • It’s sad how we tend to remember hurtful things. I remember a couple of times when so-called “friends” turned into “Mean Girls” and were nasty to me at a party.

  • I’ve had run-ins with “mean girls” too, but I suppose I am fortunate that no one has done anything extremely hurtful to me.

  • TallElf

    It wasn’t me personally, but my brother’s 1st grade teacher told him that he would ‘never mount to nuthin’ I was only 4 at the time but I remember my mother flipping out at that. We ended up going to a private school after that, but can you believe the nerve. It is one thing not to make chorus, but to have the person who is supposed to be educating you tell you that. To this day he is one of the most talented artists that I know on canvas/skin/autobody, you name it, he has the ability.

    For me, it would probably be the GF that I had early on in college that decided that since I had imbibed a bit too much one evening that my friend had an open invitation to his room. Needless to say things happen for a reason, and I have moved on to much better things, but that would have to be the meanest thing that has ever been done.

  • Gina

    @Kat, that was cruel.

    The meanest thing anyone’s ever said to me was when my dad told me that I was too fat to ever have a husband. I was 14, 5′8″ and 120 lbs. He made fun of how I looked, walked and dressed throughout my teen years and told me men would only want me for one thing.

  • Well, let’s see…

    The time a blind date showed up 7 months pregnant.

    The time a girl in a bar tried to rip my hair off thinking it was a rug (I promptly grabbed her breasts, “are these real?”) To her credit she thought it was funny!

    The time I was fired from a great job cause the boss’s daughter didn’t like me.

    The time my Mom said she would co-sign a loan for a motorcycle if I saved up the money to buy it (I was 17) and she reneged on it.

    But the meanest thing anyone ever said to me was when my second wife said “I do”

  • I don’t think anything really bad or mean has ever happened to me. Maybe people are just too scared to cross me? LOL But one thing that sticks out in my mind is a horrible memory of my now deceased Mother in Law. I know its horrible to remember ill of the dead but what she did really pissed me off.

    It was my wedding shower and when I walked into my “surprise” shower everyone stood up to greet me and kiss me. My mom, sister, and sister in law all brought me flowers, hugged and kissed me while my mother in law just sat on her ass. The entire time she complained that she was there (meanwhile this is the lady who was super stoked that her son was getting married to such a great girl like myself). She left my shower early and then the next day she called my mom and told her that my mom did EVERYTHING WRONG! She went on a rampage just insulting my mother. My mom is a classy lady and just told her, “Well if you thought I was doing something wrong you should have said something to me then and there and I could have changed it. This is my first wedding shower to ever host or attend so I don’t know….” I got so mad at my mom for being submissive that I called my mother in law and just let her have it. I explained to her that my mom had more intelligence and class in her pinkie than she did in her entire body and if she wanted to call someone stupid she should go have a long hard look in the mirror. Then I said I was hanging up before I said something I’d regret.

    4 months later my mother in law passed away and to this day I do NOT regret what I said to her. I however do regret that the only memories I have of her are horrible ones like that.

  • Isn’t it weird how those kinda awful memories stick with you, and not the millions of other compliments/positive feedback? I’m sure I have dozens, I jst can’t think of any off the top of my head.

  • Dan

    In Junior High I wrote a letter to myself (but made it seem like it was from a friend of mine). I wrote it as if he was complaining to me about his girlfriend. Then I showed it to her and they got into a huge fight over nothing. I think I secretly liked her and wanted them to break up. I was just being a dick.

  • Holly

    Hey there C.C., long time no see! First off, I agree with you 100+%! 8 Mile is my all time favorite movie. I think part of it has to do with that I’ve actually been to some of the areas that were shown in the movie and Detroit isn’t that far away from me. But I also think Eminem is VERY kind to the eyes! LOL

    As for mean things that have happened to me? I could fill up an entire journal, but the one that hurts the most involves my late grandmother (my fathers mother). I was adopted when I was 3 days old. And although my parents never hid the fact that I was adopted, never once did they ever make me feel like I was anything but their daughter!

    My paternal grandmother passed away in February of 1996. She and I had never really had a great relationship (She was a things oriented person which is the exact opposite of what I am), I never disrespected her because she was my grandmother. At her funeral service, my Aunt (my dads sister) actually had the minister, who was a complete and total stranger, make a point of saying something like “This woman took two young girls into her life and into her heart as if they were of her own flesh and blood, overlooking the fact that none of her own blood was ever shared with them”.

    I was 5 months pregnant with my youngest at the time and I was so ANGRY that my husband was worried I was going to go into really early labor! This Aunt also went behind my grandmothers back and had an amendment made to my grandmothers will that completely excluded me and took away a house that my grandmother had bought for me a few years earlier.

    That was almost 16 years ago. I have seen my Aunt maybe 3 times since then. I hold no ill will towards her, but I know that one day, her mean and spiteful streak will come back and bite her in the ass! :o)

  • Zig

    Well…people are mean to me all the time1 I just figure that they are dumb, in a bad place in their life or have a stick up their ass. My favorite thing to do in times like these is thank God I am me and they are them. When I tell people this, they think I am conceited. I just ask the person if they want to be anyone else…

    Once, my wife asked me why a person was being so mean to me and didn’t I want to get them back. My response was simply, “NO. I am just glad I am me and they are them.” I wouludn’t want to be the person treating me so poorly? Karma is a bitch! I figure the person is going through a divorce, or they probably will be soon, or their dog pissed on the leg. She usually agrees with me and we decide that the person treating me poorly has to live their entire life with that face or that disposition. We think about how funny it would be to be in such a bad situation and we usually laugh endlessly at the person and the situation!

  • Hal

    Zig, I wonder why people are mean to you? From what I’ve seen, it’s not like you give them a reason. LMAO. Anyway, great post.

    In college, I knew that a guy in our dorm was cheating on his girlfriend. So I called his girlfriend from a pay phone and told her what was going on. She didn’t know me, so I didn’t even have to disguise my voice. I just didn’t like him because he was a punk. And I felt his girlfriend deserved better. So I wasn’t being mean. I was saving the day.

  • Wow, you must have really sucked.

    Ha, sorry, I couldn’t resist. :)

  • Tristan

    Sometimes we have to deal with bad people. They may be parents or teachers or total strangers, but that doesn’t change the fact that refusing to forgive them for what they did does nothing but burden your own conscience. There are some pretty extreme cases here, but no one can change the past, and refusing to let it go does nothing but diminish the person that you are, strain the relationships that you have, and give a cynical basis to new relationships.

    You can never be happy if you can’t get over being hurt in the past. Definitely not good if you are married or plan on being married someday.

    Kat, your sister obviously needs help, and maybe your forgiveness would open her eyes.

    Dan, I think you’re being too easy on yourself.

  • JD

    Dude. I’m with you. Those traumatizing moments just stay with you forever. One horrifically shameful moment stands out to me. I had just made the decision to buy my first electric guitar. I entered the music store crowded with people, slightly anxious at the rows of people jamming away, fully aware of my cluelessness. Finally getting up my courage, I picked up some guitars and quietly strummed, fully aware that I had no idea what the hell I was doing. Ah, that last fateful guitar. It was a yellow Gibson. I gave it one last strum and then (attemped) to hang it back on its peg on the wall. Alas, this was not to be. The damned peg was faulty and instead of the guitar hanging on the wall, it ever-so-slowly floated to the ground. I swear, it was in slow motion. But that THUD was not.

    It was like a freakin’ gunshot. Everybody froze. Everyone. The chattering and swearing. The strumming. The metal soloist wannabes. The Smoke-on-the-Waterers. Everyone just stopped. And stared. And the music store manager got this crazy insane look in his eye and instead of being nice about it, yelled at the top of his lungs….”Who did that?!” Silence. “I SAID, who the HELL did that?!” There was no need to speak up at that point as everyone’s eyes were pointed right at me.

    To make a short story even shorter, the guitar wasn’t damaged, thankfully. But dude, that moment will stay with me forever.