Moron of the Week Returns

It’s been a tough few weeks.  I was out of commission following shoulder surgery.  And while I had plenty of time to think about possible topics for on here, I was unable to move my arm or type.  Now trust me; not being able to use your arm for a few weeks is no picnic.  So as I gently start using my arm again, I thought what better way to get back into the swing of things than with a “Moron of the Week Award” post.  Enjoy, discuss and cast your votes below.

Nominee #1 - Hot for Teacher - Emerson Elementary School in California participates in the “Read Across America” program.  As a part of that, the school invites celebrities in to read to the students.  Last week, Sasha Grey was asked to meet a first grade class.  Who is Sash Grey, you ask?  Why, she’s a famous and award-winning porn star!  When angry parents called the school to complain, and when TMZ contacted the administrators, the school denied Grey’s appearance saying, “The actress you have indicated [Sasha] was not present.”  Too bad TMZ already had pictures of it.  It sounds to me like someone at the school didn’t do their homework.

sasha-grey
Sasha Grey at Emerson Elementary School
Courtesy of TMZ

Nominee #2 - Who’s Your Daddy - It amazes me when I’m flipping channels on TV, that Maury Povich is still doing paternity tests after all these years.  I mean, seriously, give it a rest.  But clearly someone watches his show, because he’s still on the air.  Well…now Maury may get his most famous DNA yet.  Word is that he has approached Justin Bieber’s representatives about helping with the DNA test in Bieber’s battle against Mariah Yeater, who claims that Bieber fathered her child after a sexual encounter in a bathroom at one of his concerts.  Should Maury go out on high note and retire after helping exonerate Bieber?

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Mariah Yeater (Bieber’s accuser)
Courtesy of The Insider

Nominee #3 - Fall from Grace - I have been a huge Penn State football fan my entire life.  This week the university fired legendary coach, Joe Paterno, in light of a sex abuse scandal involving one of his former assistant coaches (Jerry Sandusky is accused of molesting several minors).  “JoePa” was let go because he apparently knew of the allegations, and although he communicated them to his supervisor, he did not investigate further or contact the police.  Paterno now says he “didn’t do enough.”  Thus, his 46-year legacy as a head coach is now irrevocably tarnished.

Nominee #4 - Think Before You Speak - Actor Ashton Kutcher has 8M followers on Twitter.  That’s quite a fan club.  And Kutcher is known for posting his own tweets and being very proactive when dealing with his fans.  Earlier this week, Kutcher walked by his TV, saw that Joe Paterno was being fired from Penn State, and without knowing why, took to Twitter to attack Penn State.  Only after being embarrassed and lambasted online by just about everyone, some of Kutcher’s friends contacted him and explained why Paterno was in the news.  As a result, Kutcher issued an apology and turned over control of his Twitter account to his management team.

ashton-kutcher
Ashton Kutcher
Courtesy of TMZ

Nominee #5 - The New One-Night Stand - Imagine Erik Johnson’s surprise to find out (when he got back from Iraq) that his wife, Jennifer Stewart, was pregnant.  He assumed she had an affair (they are white and the baby is black).  But she was adamant that she didn’t.  Apparently, Stewart was knocked up via the new way to have intercourse - watching a 3D movie.  This story has surfaced time and again over the last year.  And last week, once again, it was circling the outlets.  Yes, that’s right; Stewart claims that she has been faithful to her husband, and says the baby was conceived in New York while she watched a 3D porno.  Stewart claims the baby looks exactly like one actor in the porno, who she has never met.  She is currently planning to sue the movie studio and the producers.  And interestingly, her husband has been very supportive of her claim saying, “The films in 3D are very real.  With today’s technology, anything is possible.”  No wonder you have to pay an extra $3 for 3D glasses these days!

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14 comments to Moron of the Week Returns

  • Jane

    Welcome back. It was stupid of the elementary school to lie. Ashton screwed up, and he’ll probably be taking heat about that for a while. I don’t know why, but I’m most curious about the Bieber one. That lady is going to be in for a world of legal hurt if she’s lying. She gets my vote.

  • It’s a crazy world. Without considering #2, only one person out of these examples seems willing to take responsibility for their actions and that’s Ashton. He’s not a moron but the others are.

  • I’m curious also to see how this Biebs baby drama plays out.

    Nominee Story #5- Wouldn’t the moron be the person who actually believed her story?

    PS: RE: “No wonder you have to pay an extra $3 for 3D glasses these days!”

    -Seriously, that is funny!

  • Wow, I think they’re all quite moronic, but #5 definitely takes the cake! After I picked chin up off the floor and put it back in place, I couldn’t stop laughing! Hey, thanks for visiting my blog! I’m hoping to get around to posting again soon, life seems to keep getting in my way :)

  • Uh… I’m with Caty - I thought they were all morons until I got to #5, which made all the other ones seem like brain surgeouns. What the? That can’t be real. Although…now that I think about it, it’s no crazier than most of the calls I get on a daily basis.
    No kidding.
    And yes, that’s sad.

  • Hey, at least #1 came to the school fully clothed :) Definitely #5! Are you joking?!!!
    Hubby had shoulder surgery when we were in college so I can understand what you are going through. Good luck with your recovery!

  • I can’t believe that soldier is sticking by his wife - now *that’s* trust!

  • Where were the porn stars when I was a kid! haha

  • Deb

    You want me to pick just ONE? Hmmm. The porn chick is not the moron, the school is. Povich is doing anything to make a buck and keeping the Trailer Trash happy. Paterno et al, comes under the classification of egotistical and sick. Kutcher’s just an another Hollyweirdo. The true moron is Erik Johnson for believing his wife…unless they are both just on the money train, which then would not qualify them as morons and would make Kutcher the moron by default. I can’t believe I just blew five minutes of my life actually weighing the moron factor. God, I need a life.

  • Okay, that last story made me go wtf??!!

  • SFL

    I seriously don’t believe the 3d story.

  • Enjoyed every story, every nominee. Tough choices. Hope your arm recovers completely soon.

  • Leo Nevoli

    I have to give it to the Husband in number 5. I know 3-D is the big thing right now, but if you really believe what she is telling you, let me sell you this cash cow. Instead of milk, from the utters, you can get money from the utters.

  • Jen

    Okay, I have to vote for Penn State as the moron in all respects. This whole story is a bigger mess every day.

    The husband in the last story is almost as big a moron but the wife could obviously sell snow to an Eskimo! Amazing!